The Price of Survival
by shadierplatypus
Summary: Of them all, Levi had the heaviest heart. He hated the death, he hated missing the people he couldn't protect. Maybe that was why he was fighting so hard to keep Eren alive. Maybe the awkward Lance Corporal had the thought in the back of his mind that those glances Eren gave him weren't just glances. But as he was, he couldn't see the difference.
1. Lackluster

_[I have a lot of emotions about this ship but I definitely prefer the less fluffy/more angsty/serious side of it that is basically their relationship in canon. I tried to capture that sort of atmosphere in this piece, which I may or may not continue. This takes place before the more recent chapters of the manga, where Squad Levi 2.0 is living it up at the cabin. Leave a review and let me know what you think!]_

* * *

After every mission outside of the walls, the deaths of the Survey Corps soldiers around him struck with the same pain. Given how much of it he saw, he himself couldn't manifest the energy to be more than a walking corpse during the latest hours of the night. As if he were on his deathbed, his eyes would glaze over and he'd allow his cold heart to feel the weight of the havoc he caused. In those early morning hours, unless an emergency chased him out of his misery, he would continue on like so until he passed out. Three hours later, the sun would rise, Levi would wake up, and it would be another day to carry the weight on his shoulders.

The people around him were none the wiser. He cracked inappropriate jokes without laughing, he led his squad without error, and his performance as humanity's most powerful soldier was never questioned. Levi Ackerman was looked up to by a number of people as the steady rock needed in the fight for Wall Maria. It seemed to many that his aloofness was out of disinterest for others or severe introversion, but that wasn't the case. It was true that Levi wasn't scared to start a fight or speak out against the people he didn't like, but to his squad, his fellow squad leaders, and especially to his commander, Levi was a trustworthy soldier.

Especially to Eren, Levi was a trustworthy soldier.

Somehow, it was a relief to Eren to see the Lance Corporal so human, but at the same time he felt concern for the way Levi looked so haunted. Not that Levi would willingly show his vulnerabilities to anybody else- Eren had actually happened across the older man as he was trying to clear his mind from a dream. Why the hell Levi was letting all of the cold air in through the open window was beyond Eren. With logic that could only come from foolish late-night sincerity, he broke the silence and made himself known.

"Captain? Is something out there?" Levi spun around in an instant, the ghost of an injury on his thigh reminding him of what he had once done for the boy's sake. It didn't hurt anymore, but somehow, it was hard to forget.

"No. Go to bed." The difference in character was astonishing. Two seconds ago, anybody would have seen the look of mortality in Levi's eyes, but the moment he knew another person was there, he was back to his standoff-ish self; although Eren trusted his squad leader, he still couldn't help but be intimidated. His steely gray eyes cut into Eren, and suddenly the boy felt like he had intruded on something sacred. Whatever it was, it gave him a bad taste in his mouth.

"Of all people who need sleep, you seem like you need it the most."

 _Oh shit,_ had he actually said that? A sudden rush of panic put Eren on edge, but with the lack of response to it, he calmed down and continued cautiously. "What are you doing up this late anyway?"

"You're being annoying. Why aren't you asleep?"

 _Hadn't I just asked that?_ Eren thought. "A dream woke me up."

Levi didn't nod or even make any indication that he was going to respond. Eren thought it meant he was supposed to continue. "I don't know what it means, but I keep seeing my dad. It's like he's not even-"

After a moment, he just shook his head. Eren didn't feel the need to say it out loud. Maybe Levi didn't want to hear him at all. Maybe trying to talk to his Captain was a mistake in general. He couldn't describe the feeling that the thought gave him, but it wasn't good. He felt like hiding. What was it, embarrassment? Shyness?

Abruptly, Levi walked to the kitchen and made black tea for the two of them. It was clear to him that the boy wouldn't be out of his hair until he got whatever he needed to out of his system. It wouldn't be their first time being alone for more than two minutes, but that didn't take away the awkwardness or silence. Both seemed rather content not saying anything until Levi returned, tea in both hands, one of the mugs put down on the opposite side of the table. The two sat- quietly at first- until the Captain took a long drink of hot tea.

"Feel lucky you're alive, Yeager. If you were a normal brat, you'd be dead by now." The brash statement took Eren by surprise. He didn't know whether it was a compliment or an insult, but judging his tone, Levi had been thinking for a while. _Was that why he looked so horrified?_ Eren thought. _Has he been thinking of death this whole time?_

"I'm ready to die if I need to. I was ready to die when Historia was going to eat me." The thought seemed so funny now, but neither of them laughed. Captain Levi had a bit of that look about him again: that look of dread.

"Truth is, Eren, if you died anytime soon, everything would be that much more dull."

It took Levi a moment to realize he had spoken his thoughts out loud instead of keeping them quiet. He tried to make it seem purposeful. "You're the weirdest monster I think I've ever been around. It makes life a little interesting."

Eren chose not to respond to that. It was almost funny. Almost. Instead of laughing, he looked down at the table, feeling unable to keep eye contact during the conversation. Even in other conversations, and actually most days, Eren only let himself look at Levi for extended periods of time if he knew that his Captain was unaware. But the truth was, Levi knew. The man nearly had eyes in the back of his head, who was Eren fooling? A man like Levi Ackerman grew up seeing the world with 360 vision, and even outside of a fight or a mission, there was little escaping his conscious mind.

Then again, no amount of eyes could see the feelings behind those glances. That took a sense that Levi wasn't keen to. In his line of work, though, it couldn't be blamed. Who had time to dissect human feelings when there was too much heartless work to be done? Levi was one to talk about monsters; everybody in his squad had blood on their hands, and it wasn't incorrect to say that Levi had much more than the others. When one was stained like that, who had time for those young feelings?

Well, Eren did. Unfortunately.

It was in those moments of life and death, those crucial key points in his titan training, and the stolen glances that were sometimes returned. Eren couldn't help it. Levi Ackerman saved Eren's life time and time again, almost with more passion and speed than Mikasa. He liked to believe his importance to Levi went beyond his titan form and shallow entertainment, but there was no proof to go on, and no real hope that Eren could see.

Of course he was so preoccupied with thinking of these things at the table that Levi abandoned his seat to look out the window again, taking care not to succumb to the despair he was so buried in earlier. Once noticing this, Eren also stood at the window, rather close to him. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to do so, but surprisingly, Levi didn't comment on it. Eren swallowed his nervousness without much luck. There was no denying that the boy had feelings that added up to more than mere admiration for his squad leader, but he wouldn't be caught dead admitting it, just like Levi wouldn't be caught dead admitting that there was something more than his duty as a Survey Corps soldier that made him want to keep Eren alive. Even now, there was something raising the Captain's spirits, keeping the weight of death behind him. Could it have been Eren? Was Levi right in assuming for a moment that being around the boy was a good change from his usual nights?

Even with so much thought going on, it was a stalemate. The two had nowhere to go with their feelings; Eren, being embarrassed, and Levi, not even knowing for sure where he stood, were quiet as ever as they gazed out the window. It would have seemed peaceful to any onlooker, but in reality, it felt awkward to the two. They didn't know how to handle it. With nothing to guide them, the moment passed, and Levi truly wished to be alone with his musings and demons. "Go to bed, Eren."

This time, the boy listened.


	2. The Silent Type

_[I know it's up pretty soon when I said I didn't know if I'd be writing another chapter, but I got the inspiration soon after posting the first one. For reference, this fanfiction is taking place in that 2-month time skip in the manga when Historia was crowned. I had a lot of fun writing this particular chapter; feel free to laugh, it's supposed to be a bit of comedic relief (though I'll be delving into some angst sooner or later, believe me.) Also keep in mind that this chapter has some suggestive content. Keep checking back for a potential third chapter!]_

* * *

Levi had to spend the majority of his time helping Historia sort out business with the nobles. Although they were met with positivity from the people and close to no trouble by the nobles, Levi stayed close by, being as helpful as he could. He needed to focus on his work instead of worrying about Eren, or how it was getting more and more tough to cut Eren out of his titan, or how the experiments had been taking such a toll on him. Eren would be okay- still, something nagged at Levi. It urged him to go back and see for himself that his squad was fine, but he ignored it as best as he could. Even close to the end of the day he ignored it, until a conversation with Erwin.

"Levi, where are you headed?"

Erwin and Levi had a strange past. Levi used to look up to the Commander in the same way that Eren looked up to Levi, but the two were the most incompatible match in the Survey Corps. Erwin simply never knew when he was going to die, and just like he had done so many years before, he'd very much rather give up romance and the chance of a family than his job. It took Levi years to realize that about the commander, and because of the unspoken rejection he faced, he had adopted a similar lifestyle. The only times he gave into more human desires was when he was alone; he'd never let another person see him or be around him when he was so vulnerable.

"Out for a walk. I need to clear my mind."

"If you need to clear your mind so badly, there are plenty of women willing to help-"

"Not interested," Levi interrupted. The thought was rather horrible, now knowing the truth about his mother. What Kenny revealed to Levi was both terrifying and heartbreaking, but mostly the former. Thinking about prostitutes in general gave him the same bad feeling. Not knowing this, Erwin laughed. To him, it was simple prudishness, but he let it go nonetheless.

"Suit yourself. Have a nice walk."

Levi didn't know why the conversation made him think back to checking on his squad, which was a thought he had rather successfully ignored for most of the day. He didn't know if he was lonely or worried, but either way, he decided on going back that night, even if he didn't have to. On his way he rethought his decision a few times before accepting the fact that he wasn't turning around.

Upon his arrival at sunset, he noticed that everybody was outside. It wasn't an emergency or anything of the sort; they were sitting around a small fire and Sasha and Connie were arguing about something. It seemed heated, but nobody acted like it was a big deal, and it wasn't until Levi came closer when he realized that of all things to argue about, the two were arguing about dancing.

"My village may not have had many people, but when we celebrated a good hunt, we would dance for hours! I can dance so much better than you and you know it!"

"Oh please, don't kid yourself. You've never been to a party in Ragako!" Connie stood to make his point more loud and assertive, but to Levi, it only made it more annoying. Still, he waited at a distance, not ready to intrude.

"Bring it on!" Sasha stood as well. Her and Connie stared each other down for a moment before beginning to dance with reckless abandon. Jean couldn't get enough of it, bursting out laughing in an instant. Eren, Mikasa, and Armin looked on, unsure what to make of the situation. As Sasha and Connie rotated around the fire, Eren looked out onto the land around them, surprised to lock eyes with Levi. Quickly, he slapped both Sasha and Connie several times on their legs and pointed out to where the Captain sat on his horse. With a sigh, he came forward; he hadn't wanted to make a scene, so he passed off his arrival like an everyday occurrence.

"Don't let me shit on the party, go back to what you were doing."

He tied up his horse and made his way inside. He was so overcome with relief at seeing his squad again that it took him a moment to realize how clean it was. Despite the darkness, the floors were shining and the rooms held the familiar scent of soap- the same Levi used on his own time. _At least Eren learned how to clean properly_ , he thought as he shuffled off to his own room. He let himself fall onto his bed, the one he never slept on, and closed his eyes for a second. As he felt his heart rate slow, he felt a sudden surge of lustful human urges welling up. Figuring that his squad would stay outside for long enough to grant him an acceptable amount of time, he closed his door and laid back down on the bed.

* * *

Eren thought it was curious for Captain Levi to show up the way he did. In his mind, Eren tried to think of possible reasons he had for joining them, but could come up with nothing. Maybe it was just to check if Eren was keeping the place clean. It seemed a likely chance that it was nothing. However, even as he thought that, as Connie and Sasha pick up their dancing again, he stared into the fire, feeling that he needed to go inside and find out what was going on. _Is there news from Historia? Did something happen?_ Assuming the worst, Eren felt that he had no choice but to ask about it.

"I'll be back in a minute," he said to Mikasa and Armin. They simply nodded, distracted by the dance battle around the fire.

There was no light in the cabin at the time, which was confusing. Eren thought that maybe Levi could be sleeping, but remembering the other night, that didn't seem likely. Levi wasn't a person that got a lot of sleep, and at any rate the sun had just gone down- it was relatively early in the night. Eren looked around in the dark, convinced that he needed to find the older man.

The Lance Corporal wasn't in any of the rooms, but the door to his bedroom was closed. Putting two and two together, the boy assumed that Levi wanted to be left alone, but he stuck around nonetheless, trying to figure out what to do. He tried to listen for something, but there was no sound coming from the other side of the door. That was when he thought that maybe he shouldn't have gone looking. His nerves got the best of him and he backed away from the door, but he came to the realization that being in a squad meant that they were part of a team, and in any team, one of the most important things was communication. So with his growing sense of camaraderie fueling his next actions, his hand hit the doorknob and the door swung open.

Needless to say, they were both too stunned to move or say anything. For what felt like a century, Eren stood frozen in the doorway, his hand still on the doorknob. For once, he was too scared to look anywhere but Levi's eyes. Sweat was beading on his palms. A noise came out of his throat that sounded like a high-pitched whimper, but Eren was too shocked to notice.

Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman had been caught masturbating. He searched for the words- any words at all- to say to the boy. He settled on whispering a weak, "Shut the door," to which Eren immediately obeyed. The two still couldn't move after the door closed, though they tried, but both knew that the next few days were going to be more awkward than any moment they had already experienced.

Eren returned to his seat outside where Sasha and Connie were still dancing, but now they were shouting as well.

"No, not like that! You look stupid!"

"You're the one spinning around like a dog chasing his tail!"

"Well your feet are stomping around like a titan!"

Eren couldn't pay any attention. To Mikasa and Armin, it seemed as if he were lost in thought as he stared into the small fire, but the only thing on his mind was a repeating track of a single thought, _Why didn't I knock, why didn't I knock, why didn't I knock, why didn't I knock..._

At the same time, Levi was regretting his journey to be with his squad. _Why didn't I put locks on these doors..._

Levi was tempted to apologize for what Eren had seen, but really, it was all Eren's fault. Did he even know what he saw? Was the boy old enough to know what Levi was doing, or was he too preoccupied with his own problems to worry about the more normal things in human life? Levi dreaded the thought of teaching Eren about the birds and the bees. He wasn't the boy's parent, nor was he a teacher in any sense; in fact, it felt strange to think about their relationship in that way. Levi did everything to keep him alive, Eren put his full trust into his Captain, and they both had a shared respect of each other. Friendship was the wrong word, but it wasn't as simple as a subordinate/leader type of relationship. There was something between them that made Levi rather confused.

Whatever it was, it was safe to assume that it could take a while for them to go back to normal after that night. The older man decided to simple handle it the next day, hoping that nothing else weird would happen that would upset Eren too much. There was still more training to be done, and if Hange had to hear about this, Levi knew that he wouldn't hear the end of it.


	3. Only in Dreams

_[From this chapter onward, it's likely that the length will increase so that there's more to read. Please note that there is descriptive gore near the end of this chapter. Remember to leave a review and follow if you like it, I appreciate it!]_

* * *

Levi woke up to the sound of muted chatter coming from the kitchen. His door, of course, had been left shut overnight; he hadn't touched it since Eren left. He stared at it, remembering the rather embarrassing event in great detail. For several long moments he just listened to his squad (presumably) prepare breakfast, not particularly wanting to face Eren just yet. However, the longer he stayed in bed, the longer he was being unproductive. That day was one of Eren's training days; Levi took it upon himself to look after Eren before and after every session. Today shouldn't have been any different.

After getting dressed and heading out, Levi took a quick head count. He saw Eren was absent, and somehow wasn't surprised.

"Where's Eren?" Of course that would have been the first thing he said.

"He's outside training. Don't you know what time it is, Captain?" Armin answered, and Levi took a deep breath. It wasn't breakfast they were making, it was lunch. It was surprising that he didn't notice how much more sunlight there was than normal mornings.

"None of you thought to wake me up?"

The entire squad looked uncomfortable at the thought. More than a little bit frustrated, Levi snatched one of the sandwiches off of the table, to Sasha's horror. But before she could argue that he took her food, he was out the door and headed towards the training ground they had specifically dedicated to Eren. Hange looked as obsessive as ever, and Eren...

Well, Eren looked like shit.

As soon as Levi arrived, Eren straightened up a bit and greeted his Captain as if nothing had happened. He thought it was strange, sure, but he wasn't about to argue that they should talk about it.

"How much training have you done this morning?" He asked Eren, but Hange responded instead.

"He's turned into a titan twice today, but for now that may be all he can do. He's only been able to harden parts of his body at a time. So far, it's been an arm and half of a leg. Eren? What's wrong?"

Levi turned his attention to Eren. The boy was swaying from side to side with a vacant look in his eyes, unresponsive to Hange's question. It took a full two seconds for him to collapse, caught by Levi before he could hit the ground. It wouldn't be the first time Levi had to carry him, nor did he think it would be the last.

"This might be too much for him to handle at the moment," Hange explained. "He was experiencing some trouble transforming into a titan the second time around, and when he tried to harden, he was a little tough to cut out. I'm afraid that if he stays inside for too long, or if he hardens completely, we may not be able to get him out to at all," Hange stared at the boy in Levi's arms with a solemn expression, "But it's a risk we have to take, and he knows it. His nerves weren't the best by the end of the second transformation. We won't be able to get any more training in today."

Levi found himself not knowing how to respond. He simply nodded, bringing Eren back to the cabin and into the boy's bedroom. Everybody followed, to which Levi ordered all of them out. All of them except Mikasa of course; how he thought he'd get her away from an unconscious Eren, he had no idea. She studied his face and his body, looking for some kind of wound or anything that would indicate why he was in that state. Levi knew she wouldn't leave without an explanation. Quite calmly, he said, "He was overworked in training, he'll be fine in a few hours."

He left the room, but she did not, instead choosing to be there when he woke up. It was something that Levi respected, but thinking of Eren, Levi felt rather selfish; although he never spoke of it, he wished that Mikasa would give him more space than she did. He was convinced it wasn't jealousy, and it wasn't as if he disliked her, but something about the situation didn't sit right. A small part of Levi wanted to wait around until Eren woke up too, or even take Mikasa's place, but he had to meet with Historia and everybody else in the city. Him and Hange, who had let herself into the cabin after Levi carried Eren inside, had to speak up about their concerns with Eren.

"We're leaving soon, don't get comfortable," he said as he emerged from Eren's bedroom. Mikasa shut the door behind him.

"Oh, don't worry Levi, being comfortable around you is nearly impossible."

* * *

Hange and Levi were silent for a good portion of their trip, but Hange had a burning question on her mind, and she saw Levi as the best fit to hear it. It was the question that had been on her mind ever since she began studying the titans, but could never figure out the answer to with mere speculation. It required a hands-on approach- a potentially dangerous one. She knew she'd have to appeal to gain any interest.

"You know, Levi, I've been wondering about the humanity of the titans."

"They have none," he stated without hesitation. She shook her head.

"We don't know that. If Eren's dream was correct, they all just might be suffering in their nightmares."

"We have no way of proving that was anything more than a dream. And even if those shitheads are just dreaming, they're still killing us at the same time."

"What about the titan shifters?" Hange asked, her enthusiasm growing. "We've done tests with Eren and he can take orders as a titan. Not only that, but he can give intelligent responses to questions. Titan shifters aren't mindless."

The conversation was wearing Levi thin. Did she not remember when Eren's titan attempted to kill Mikasa? Did she not remember that Eren's titan had eaten his father? There were specific instances in which even Eren had lost his humanity, if only for a short time. And even when he did retain his consciousness, he was an unpredictable monster capable of doing terrible things. Levi knew he could end it in a second if things got out of hand, but the humanity that Hange spoke of became buried when Eren transformed. He found it ridiculous that she was trying to convince him otherwise, but whatever she was getting at, he wanted to know.

"Just spit out what you're trying to say, Hange."

"I want to experiment with Eren's ability to identify his interpersonal relationships and act on his intrapersonal view of individuals he's never encountered as well as those who he cares for."

Levi stared at her for a long moment. She had to be crazy.

"You want to see if Eren can remember his human relationships while he's a titan?"

"More specifically," a certain gleam in her eye was shining like a star, "I want to see if he can connect with his human feelings while he's a titan. I want to see him identify a friend from a stranger from somebody a little more special, if you get what I mean," she winked, and Levi rolled his eyes.

"I'll tell you this one more time, Hange, since you seem to enjoy harassing me about it. Nothing is happening between Eren and myself."

"We'll see about that. If everything goes right, the experiments should start next week. Think of what this could mean for us!"

Somehow, Levi couldn't rally up the enthusiasm that Hange could. He truly didn't want to know Eren's feelings towards him. Besides, it seemed like the more important issue was Eren learning how to use his hardening ability. But then a thought came to the Corporal: it could be a break on Eren's body. He imagined that Eren would continue to get weaker as his abilities expanded and the training sessions became more demanding. He was concerned for how Hange would handle the boy's well-being, but that was what he always stuck around for. And seemingly, Levi was beginning to warm up to the idea of Eren doing less dangerous work.

At the meeting, Levi and Hange spread the update of Eren's abilities as well as the idea of experimenting with his connections to his human self while in the titan. At first, it was an absolute negative, as they could never be too careful when dealing with Eren in his titan form. However, with Hange proving that he did have the intelligence to follow orders and answer questions, they reconsidered. Levi also spoke in terms of Eren's health and how they would be saving the boy from the pile up of stress that the experiments were causing. They seemed to think that Levi had a point. As the rest of the group, particularly Darius Zackly, discussed the fate of the experiments that Hange suggested, Levi thought back to something Hange said as they were almost to the city.

 _"You know that boy looks up to you for everything, right? In fact, I'd say I've seen it before."_

It was a low jab that Levi could only meet with silence. His former feelings for Erwin had been kept secret, but a certain scientist had been able to see through the Corporal's disguise of platonic feelings for the taller blonde. However, even as she had a point, Levi hadn't been acknowledging it. He preferred it if him and Eren could have as simple of a relationship as possible, but even then, it had been Levi the night before who couldn't even describe what they were. It wasn't just teacher and student and it wasn't just command and subordinate, but at the same time, it felt wrong to say it was friendship. Was Hange right? Was Eren making the same mistake that Levi did so long ago with his own commander?

"Levi," The man snapped out of his inner monologue as Erwin asked, "Do you think this experiment would really be worthwhile? We have to worry about Wall Maria, and if we get caught up in affairs that prolong the wait to block the wall-"

"It won't interfere. Eren can handle it."

Levi's opinion was respected by most, if not all, of the people present. He felt certain that he convinced his colleagues of how worthwhile it was to pursue. Not only did Eren get to rest his body every once in a while, but Levi was curious as to how the situation would turn out. Would anything even come out of it? Would anything change? They were questions without answers in that moment, but he would find them; he needed to.

* * *

The titan rampaged about, letting no building or obstacle interfere with its prey. This particular beast had been surrounded by Survey Corps soldiers, but still, it had acted too fast. Crushing one under his foot and another in his hand, the remaining population gave their best efforts to bring it back. However, in his titan form, Eren was nearly unstoppable. Friend or stranger, he seemed to not care about the difference. Levi could only watch from a distance, held back by a force he couldn't see or touch. His view was so limited, in fact, that all he could see were his teammates on the ground, trying to subdue the titan but being met with death.

It was after Levi saw Mikasa being picked up that he could move again. With his gear, he rushed to stop it, but his arrival was too late. She had been crushed in his palms, not even eaten like she would have been with a normal titan. He just dropped her to the ground, like a doll, and Levi thought in disgust that Eren's rage was all his fault. Levi had pushed him too far, and now he was the only one that could resolve his mistake.

With the speed of a demon, he cut Eren out from the nape of the titan's neck. Blood spilled everywhere, some evaporating, some staining the grass around them. The titan immediately toppled over, but before it did, Levi took the boy and placed him down on the grass, kneeling beside him. Levi realized that he hadn't only cut Eren out of the titan, but also injured the boy in the process- two large, parallel gashes tore through the boy's torso. However, there was no smoke to indicate his closing wounds. Instead, more blood poured out and over, seeming to speed up instead of slow down. Eren was barely conscious as his head turned and his eyes met Levi's.

A bloody hand rose up, weakly, to touch the Captain's face. Horrified, Levi realized what he had done and put pressure on the wounds in a vain attempt to salvage Eren's life. Though it felt far too late to help at all, he continued, a crazed look entering his eyes. Eren couldn't die. The savior of humanity, the boy who swore he would kill every titan, the person that Levi couldn't imagine losing, couldn't die.

Levi felt real tears leave his eyes to drop down and meet Eren's body. He didn't have the energy or the will to sob, but laying in a population of dead teammates and slowly losing another was too much for him to take. Levi couldn't keep himself sitting up, and collapsed completely. From where he lay, he looked around, seeing his old dead friends appearing in the field around him. His old squad, other Survey Corps, and even the men he had killed when he was younger all appeared in that field with them, lying around as if they were all fresh kills.

Eren was still alive, but choking on his blood and crying from the pain. Only knowing one thing to do, Levi sat up again and pulled a blade from his side to place it across Eren's throat. After he choked his apologies to the dying boy, the blade sliced through his skin, but instead of Eren meeting his death-

Levi was met with the most horrid scream he'd ever heard. Eren was gurgling on the blood, writhing and still screaming-

When Levi woke up.

He looked around the dark room in heavy confusion, realizing that it had only been a dream. Disgusting and unthinkable, yes, but still a dream nonetheless. However, Levi Ackerman was as far from rational as a person could be. He threw on his gear and rushed out of the room, out to the stables. He had decided on staying in the city for the night, but at that moment he was deeply regretting it. He had to see for himself that Eren was alive, that his squad was still intact. It was such a fevered panic that Levi didn't pay attention to anything else.

On the way to the stables, several guards on the night shift asked where he was headed, but Levi didn't hear them. Before they even knew what was going on, the squad leader was out of there, on his way as fast as he could manage to meet with his teammates.

He must have been riding for an eternity before the familiar sight of the cabin sent Levi into a slightly less feverish mode. He tied up his horse, and rushed in the cabin, stopping in his tracks when he saw that Eren was already awake in the kitchen.

"Captain? What are you-"

"Shut up," the older man barked, stomping over to the boy and placing both of his hands on Eren's shoulders. His face came closer, their foreheads nearly touching; he just had to know that he wasn't still dreaming. Despite how much shorter he was than the boy, he still managed to make Eren feel like he was a child. He wanted to ask what was going on, or better yet, if this was about last night, but instead he stayed quiet. Levi just stood there, studying Yeager's face until he felt content that Eren was no danger to anybody, and still in one piece.

After a moment, Levi closed his eyes and sighed. He released his grip from Eren and took a step back. His hands covered his face in frustration. Vaguely, he wondered how obvious it was that he had dreamed of something so tragic.

"Don't take it personally, Yeager."

"...What's going on?"

"Nothing."

A man like Levi wasn't perfect in the least. He had mentally suffered from so much in his years of living that he didn't know anything else other than hurt and death. It took a toll on the brain, made people act out on impulse, and what was worse was that even small things could trigger it. He had to keep up his image as humanity's strongest, but even heroes had their weaknesses. They didn't step away from the battlefield without horrors to hang around in their head. It was the price of surviving, really, and after all of Levi's years, it weighed him down like an iron cape.

Eren could see it. He could tell that his mentor was suffering. Not knowing how else to handle it, Eren took Levi's hands in his own. Levi wanted to pull away, to tell him to stop and ignore the negativity that he brought with him, but Eren spoke first.

"Whatever it is, Captain, we're all here to help. That's what we've always done."

Levi could only nod, calming down from his panic enough to notice how warm Eren was. His cold hands thawed slowly, and the heat reached up his arms. It was soothing- something Levi had needed in that moment. The comfort made an unintentional thought slip off of his tongue, but it was perhaps more ambiguous than the last time he had done so.

"It's a heavy price, Yeager. I can feel it even when I sleep."

Eren felt horrible for his Captain. He could only imagine the things that Levi had seen and been through- seemingly enough to cause this much panic. He could only hope that the warmth of the cabin helped thaw Levi from the outside weather, which was something he thought wasn't exactly helping Levi's state of mind. Then again, he didn't even seem to notice that the temperature was close to freezing.

Levi simply mused that he'd rather stay as he was, with Eren's hands in his own, for as long as he could. To be with another person like this was something that Levi never thought he'd enjoy, but there he was, wondering when Eren had started to look like less of a boy and more of a soldier.


	4. These Things I've Done

_[I'm not sure how long this story is going to be, but once it's done I think I might start another one. Whether or not it's about Eren and Levi, or based on canon or an AU, is up in the air. But I think if people wanted me to write a certain story in particular, I would consider it. We'll just have to see! If you want to, leave suggestions in the reviews on other things I should write ( as well as how you think this one is going!). While I was writing this I was listening to 'All These Things That I've Done' by The Killers on repeat and the chapter name is inspired by the song.]_

* * *

Within the week after his encounter with Levi, Eren's sleep schedule began to shift. He periodically woke up in the middle of the night; as he would discover, it was because a large part of him worried so deeply about his captain. It was as if the man never slept at all. Eren wondered if he was scared of nightmares or just that much of a machine. As he thought more about it, he'd likely say the latter, but that didn't subtract from his suspicions about Levi's mental health.

To him, it just didn't add up. He may not have known a lot about the Lance Corporal's past but why would a person seclude themselves so much from the world? Eren Yeager was a passionate boy, never hiding how he felt about anything or anybody. Levi Ackerman had learned how to be the opposite: a stalwart man disconnected from everybody. Or, at least, that was Eren's perspective. In contrast, Hange had known him for years and was counted as a friend, as was Erwin. Not to mention Squad Levi- before their deaths- which Eren felt sick just thinking about.

What about what the captain said to him the other night? _"It's a heavy price, Yeager. I can feel it even when I sleep."_

What was that supposed to mean? What was Levi paying for? Those were the questions Eren asked himself before he slept. And when he would wake up a few hours later, he attempted to get answers, to no avail. Every exchange between them only brought about more questions. It was clear that Levi wouldn't trust so easily except in moments of weakness, but what would bring on that vulnerability, Eren had no idea. However, Eren was the boy that did what he set his mind out to do. He cared about the stability of the team as well as Levi's mind.

A few nights before his new experiments were supposed to start, he woke at just the right time to catch Levi sitting in a chair off to the side of the main room in the cabin. He had his back to Eren, so the boy didn't even think that he could be asleep already. It was unknown to most of the Squad (including Eren) that Levi didn't actually sleep in a bed- it had always been in a chair.

"Captain, I've been wondering something."

With no response, Eren came closer until he was standing over Levi's shoulder. He thought the older man would have acknowledged his presence by now, but since he could be so temperamental, Eren didn't give it a second thought. Instead, he asked another question.

"It's about you. And me, I guess, but mostly you," he waited a few seconds and walked in front of Levi to see his face, to see why he wasn't responding. Seeing Levi with his head down and his eyes closed was a slight panic, but with a quick finger to his throat, he felt a pulse, and visibly relaxed. "I guess I'll have to ask you later, then."

Eren didn't leave. Instead, he sat on the floor with his back to the wall, tempted to fall asleep as well. If he did, he knew there was a possibility that Levi would be the one to wake him up, and the thought made him give into the temptation. He'd never tell anybody, but the feeling of befriending someone that seemingly opened up to no one was comforting. Not to mention the fact that Eren was coming to terms with having a crush on the older man.

His sleeping face was much more relaxed than Eren was used to seeing. Knowing he'd have a fat chance of seeing it again, he watched him for a few moments before sleep was too difficult to run from anymore.

* * *

When the boy woke up, he found that Levi was gone out of his chair. Disappointment washed over him, and suddenly he felt very silly there against the wall. Still, it seemed that the sun was just beginning to rise, so perhaps the older man simply didn't want Eren up too early. The cabin was, overall, very silent- nobody else was up. But where was the Captain?

A small voice in Eren's mind told him that he could be in his room, but the thought alone made his face turn a deep red. It only reminded him of the unspeakable act he had walked in on. Neither of them acknowledged that the other night had actually happened, which was what both of them preferred, but the lack of clarity and closure made his thoughts about the whole thing much more awkward than it needed to be.

He stood and stretched, making his way to the kitchen, where he was surprised to see that Levi was drinking tea and looking out the window.

"Morning."

The man turned around and met eyes with the young boy. It wasn't a big surprise that Eren could only hold it for a few seconds before looking away. "Good morning, Yeager."

"I wasn't sure if I was the only one awake or not," he responded awkwardly, "I thought you might have been in your room."

The silence was deafening. Levi took a deep breath. "The other night-"

"Don't explain it, I should've just knocked." The horrified look on Eren's face made Levi feel as if he had violated the kid's innocent mind.

"...You'll get it when you're older."

"I get it! It's fine!"

Another century of silence passed by. _Is he really as much of a kid as I think he is? He's gone through that_ change _since I first met him, maybe it's not so foreign to him._ It was completely unbeknownst to the Captain that Eren's reaction wasn't out of disgust or horror, it was actually the embarrassment that came with his growing feelings, plus the added element of physical attraction that Eren wasn't used to. Seeing Levi in a situation that wasn't like his usual self made Eren feel quite _weird_.

"The kitchen is gross. Clean it up." It was as close to closure as he could get.

"Yes, sir."

The next few nights were uneventful; Eren stopped waking up in the middle of the night and Levi stopped sleeping out in the main room. Despite that, the two still felt as though there was something going on. During meals, Eren would take a quick glance at Levi from across the table and Levi would do the same; most of the time, they caught each other in the act. In the evenings, the Captain began to join in on the fun the team always had with each other, whether it was telling stories or talking about the more normal aspects of life. For those few days before Eren's new experiments began, he noticed that the air had gotten much lighter with the squad. He liked to think that having the team made Levi happy, but he got the feeling that his Captain's complex feelings couldn't be solved so easily.

On the day of the experiment, Eren had no idea what to expect. From what Levi and Hange said, it would be something easy and non-stressful for him to do, but he was skeptical. Anything that called for him to transform into a titan was a stressful thing.

"We're going to see if you can recognize us when you're in your titan form," Hange said in the open field. The whole team was there, except Jean, which everybody agreed to be the best decision. Around each other they were hot-headed and violent, which was something they weren't looking to trigger when Eren was a titan.

In addition to Squad Levi, there were several strangers that Eren didn't recognize. Hange explained before Eren could ask.

"We also want to test out your visual connections to people you know. If you could recognize a friend from a stranger." What Hange didn't explain was the tent a ways away. It didn't seem like it had an opening, and he certainly couldn't see what was inside. But he thought it looked similar to when Hange had captured a pair of-

"Let's get started! I'll explain what we're going to do once you turn. Remember, this could very well change what we know about the titans, and it could mean changes for you, too."

The volunteers- those who were strangers to Eren- looked on in amazement and fear as a bright light gave birth to a fifteen-meter titan. The team tensed up, ready to stop Eren if he got out of control. Levi hadn't visibly changed at all, but he was also ready to cut Eren out of his titan at a moment's notice.

And then there was Hange, looking up at Eren as if she had fallen in love.

"Beautiful! Eren, do you remember when we communicated last time?"

The titan, breathing loudly, looked around for a stick large enough for him to write with. Not finding one on the ground, he made his way over to a tree and broke off three-meter long branch. The sound and sight scared the volunteers. Although they had been instructed to stay quiet, audible gasps could be heard by the titan, who responded by snapping his head to the source of the sound. He stared at them for a few seconds, not moving.

"Do you know them, Eren? Have you seen them before?"

He wrote in the dirt, _No_.

"What about me? Can you write my name? Can you describe what I look like?"

 _Hange. Glasses._

It took everything Hange had not to scream and jump up and down. She was incredibly excited by the answers he was giving.

"What do those strangers look like, Eren?"

 _Human. Small. Scared._

Hange had the biggest smile on her face, seeing that he could identify emotion.

"What about them?" Hange pointed to the Squad, and Eren was able to both describe and name all of them. He even asked where Jean was.

After about another ten minutes of describing people, Eren started his spiral downward. Most of Hange's questions were becoming lost to him, and he looked around frantically, as if he were missing something. Hange attempted to calm him down, to no avail. He lost his form after thirty more seconds. Everybody rushed over, including the volunteers, but one person was missing.

"Where did Levi go?" Hange asked, but nobody knew. "Are you alright, Eren? What happened?"

"I panicked. Something doesn't feel right."

"What do you mean?"

At that moment, Levi came back into the clearing. Eren looked at him and sighed; nearly everybody thought it was just Eren getting down on himself, feeling as if he had disappointed everybody, but Hange was suspicious. She looked at Levi and back to Eren, beginning to understand that Eren probably wasn't comfortable without Levi around. He had done experiments without Levi before, however, and Hange couldn't put her finger on why it must have been a bigger deal now.

When Levi joined the others, everybody looked at him in confusion.

"What? I was taking a piss."

"Do you want to try again, Eren?"

The experiment was repeated, though in a faster manner than before. Now that Hange knew he could identify people both from memory and by looking at them, she wanted to test his temperament around _other things_. She made her way over to the tent she hadn't explained and pulled it off of the ground, revealing a captured ten-meter titan. It was held to the ground by over a hundred large pins over every limb and multiple pieces of rope kept its head in one place. It was almost exactly the way she had kept Sonny and Bean.

At first glance, Eren let out a deafening roar. The volunteers were escorted away by Armin and Connie. Levi ran over before the squad could react.

"Eren! Remember my experiments with Sonny and-"

The titan was torn apart without regard to what Hange was about to say. The head went first, thrown in the general direction of the squad. Eren's teeth met its neck and he ripped out the chunk of skin on the nape of its neck. Levi jumped on Eren's neck, prepared to cut him out.

"Wait, Levi! Let him calm down first!"

Eren roared again and looked around frantically for another titan. His instincts were beginning to take over.

"Just give him a minute!"

He glared at Hange and picked her up, but stopped right after he did so. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Levi on his shoulder. His head turned and the man was only a foot away from his teeth. If he wanted to he could have killed his Captain right then and there, as well as squished Hange into nothing, but the overwhelming feeling of care he felt for the man made him come to his senses and put Hange down. It was what Levi wanted, and Eren didn't want to hurt Hange either- she had become a friend to him, even though at times he felt like he was just an experiment.

Meanwhile, Hange was reveling in her findings. Levi was the key to Eren's sanity, she knew it.

* * *

The next day, Levi traveled to the city to meet with Historia and the others. He often went so he could guide the young queen and keep her up-to-date on Eren's status. Even though he hadn't practiced hardening since Levi was last there, Hange suggested he go anyway, as they all still had to talk about Eren's ability to remember the people he knew as a human. However, he would not be staying overnight in the city. He had grown to like being around his squad, and the nightmare he had of Eren was still fresh.

During the meeting, he noticed Erwin's constant glances, and wondered what the man wanted to talk about. It wasn't often that he sought out the attention of another person so subtly. It must have been something he didn't feel free to say at the meeting. He made sure to say it after the meeting, though.

"Levi," Erwin started, "we have to talk about Eren." Hange stood quietly at his side.

 _That did not sound good_. "What about him?"

"Hange told me the results of the experiment before the meeting. It seems there's something strange about Eren that we've never noticed."

Levi waited for Erwin to continue.

"We decided to conduct more experiments on the issue, but it seems that if you're not present when he's in his titan form, he's a much more dangerous specimen."

"What do you mean _more_ dangerous? I would have thought every mission we take outside of the walls told us how dangerous titans are."

"Eren was going to kill Hange, to my understanding. She told me that upon your arrival, his demeanor was much more humane."

"That could have been a coincidence. He's only done that one other time, with Mikasa."

"Well," Hange interrupted, "I have reason to believe that hardening himself might fuse him with his titan permanently."

"With the right evidence, we may not have to worry," Erwin continued, "However, we need to speak about what we're going to do with him once he's outgrown his use."

 _Wait, what?_

"Unless you're willing to keep him close-by at all times after we no longer need him, he will be executed."

"And you're leaving that decision up to me? Eren's life?"

"If the evidence points to it, yes. Hange will be running more tests, which you will be present for. Eren should also be present with you at meetings from now on. If I'm forgetting anything, I'll send you the word. Until then, you're dismissed."

Levi arrived back with the squad far past when he should have gotten there. The sun had been down for a few hours, but Levi was in no rush. Another person's life was in his hands, and it was Eren Yeager, of all people. He knew what it was like to take care of a team, but a single person? Somebody that looked up to him? He had too much to think about to rush back.

As he walked through the front door, he must have looked disturbed, as Eren noticed immediately that something was wrong. The rest of the team hadn't waited up for Captain Levi, figuring that he must have been staying in the city that night, but Eren got the feeling that he'd be back. While he was right, part of him wished that it wasn't real, and that the look on Levi's face was some sort of dream.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"That's not true."

"You should be asleep."

"I was waiting. I have something to ask you."

Levi took off his cloak and sat himself down where Eren was motioning to. He had no idea what Eren had in mind, but he figured that it was better than dwelling on the decision he had to make. He tried to fix his face, but to Eren, Levi still looked as if his sadness couldn't be cured by the world.

"Why did you decide to save my life in the courtroom?"

Well, so much for forgetting about the decision.

"Are you really asking that?" Levi rolled his eyes to feign nonchalance, "Erwin decided that you would be a valuable addition to the Scouting Legion. I agreed."

"Ah, I see." _Why do I feel so disappointed?_

"He gave me the choice of what to do with you," Levi mused aloud, coming to the realization of the situation. "He had it set in his mind that I would be the one to take you into my team, so the choice was mine." _And now that you're still with me, I get to make the next one too._

"Commander Erwin is very tactical," Yeager nodded, "I trust his judgement."

"A commander has to be. He has to know his strengths, his weaknesses, every possibility..." Levi closed his eyes. He couldn't look at Eren.

Quietly, Eren asked, "Are you really okay, Captain?"

Levi opened his eyes again. Eren was so concerned, and although Levi felt like he knew why, he told himself that he didn't. He told himself that he didn't know what it was like to be a young recruit with an older soldier to admire. He told himself that Eren wasn't the same with him as he was with Erwin so many years ago. He couldn't be. That sort of relationship was messy. Those sorts of feelings were not easy to handle when out on the battlefield, and certainly not easy when judging somebody's life.

"I'm-"

He couldn't say anything else. He looked away again, only to feel a sudden body collide with his own in an embrace that he hadn't experienced in an incredibly long time. Eren Yeager, in his best attempt to give his Captain comfort, wrapped him in a lasting hug. Even as Levi didn't return the embrace, he felt his head resting on Eren's shoulder. If only that boy knew that he was making Levi's decision harder. If only Levi didn't have to choose between execution and lifelong imprisonment. Not to say that he was a prison ward, but he knew that once he got older, he would hope for more freedom. If Eren knew the choices he had, would he plead for his life? Or would he dare tell his Captain again that he was so ready to die?

Although Levi felt that he didn't deserve the comfort, the images of all of his dead friends- who had become his family over the years- rushed to his head. It felt nice to know that he was not alone in that moment. It felt nice to be able to be embraced by the boy that he admired. The boy that had so much passion for justice, so much diligence, and so much respect. The precious boy, not only important to the military, but important to Humanity's Strongest.

No one else had flown into Levi Ackerman's mind like Eren had.

 _God, what do I do?_


	5. Courage

_[It's an actual theory of mine that Eren will be executed after he's "outgrown his use" to humanity. And did anybody else notice Levi's attitude towards Eren in the latest chapters of the manga? (spoilers btw, both for this chapter and this author's note) He seemed a lot more caring and more attentive towards Eren than he was before, like in chapter 70 when Levi was the only one to react to Eren being exhausted/his nose bleeding, and 72 when he eavesdropped on Eren, Armin and Mikasa talking about visiting the ocean. I kinda hope I'm not right about my theory, but at the same time, I do love myself some angst. Speaking of, have some more. Enjoy!]_

* * *

The streets were dirty, the people were mean, and the smell of trash and waste permeated every crease and crack of the Underground City. It was where street rats and merchants alike sought refuge, although the Underground City was breeding ground for dangerous criminals. The only children living there had been abandoned, and the only women who weren't criminals themselves were prostitutes. The entire community was a melting pot of the individuals that didn't fit in above ground- including a man named Levi Ackerman.

Levi Ackerman was a young man at the time, no older than 20, feared throughout the entire city. Despite his age, he was violent to the highest degree. He was heartless and cold. He was a murderer in every sense of the word. But still, there were normal things about him that nobody would expect: he enjoyed collecting tea leaves, he hated living underground because of the filth (but kept his own room spotless), and perhaps the most surprising of all, he enjoyed being told stories.

He'd walk around all night searching for storytellers when he wasn't sleeping. With a hooded coat covering his face, nobody knew they were in the presence of a killer, which was what he preferred during those times of the night. It helped when the bards chose to tell his story. How would they have reacted knowing that the person they were telling their story about was there in the crowd, listening? Not that he would do anything; people may have thought he was mindless and bloodthirsty, but he never killed without a reason.

All he did in those hours was search for a story that would erase him from the present and move him to another universe, another lifetime, where he could be anybody other than himself. One day, however, he heard a story that would resonate with him for every following year, even as he joined the Survey Corps.

He heard a story about a string.

It wasn't just any string, however. It was said to be tied around the fingers of people who were destined to be together. The red string of fate. No matter how much time passed or how far apart they were, they would always be brought back together. Not even death could sever it; nothing could ever break it.

Levi Ackerman wasn't sure how to feel about it. Was somebody really tied to him in that way? Could anybody be destined for a killer? The thought would haunt him even to the present day, where he was still wondering if the story would ever be true for him. It was never a priority to have a relationship, and certainly not in his career field, but the feeling he got in his stomach whenever he thought about that red string made him question a lot about himself. He wondered if the choice he had to make about Eren had anything to do with it.

God, if he had to think about that choice any more, he'd throw up.

More or less, he couldn't let Eren die. Something in his heart screaming _No, not you too,_ kept him from even thinking about having him executed. But Levi could only think about how Eren would feel about it. Never able to leave his side, never able to be independent, and never able to have a full life. Perhaps Levi had quite negative feelings about himself, because a small voice said that death might just be better. Eren would never be fully free, and if he would rather die, then Levi would be no one to judge.

He tried to think of an appropriate date to bring it up. Eren had to know. But with all of his experiments going on, would it be sensible to wait it out or put more stress on the table? They were close to recapturing Wall Maria and Eren had to focus on learning how to harden his body. If he was faced with the possibility of execution, would he be even more careless with his life than he currently was? Would he think he was any less important?

A short time after he was faced with the decision, it was one morning after a hardening experiment that Levi decided that the sooner he told Eren, the less of a shock it would be. If Eren knew that his Captain was holding back that much of a major decision, especially since it directly affected Eren, Levi wasn't sure what would have happened to the boy's mind. Then again, no matter how much time went by, it was still a rough thing to decide.

After Hange was on her way back to the city, Levi put his hand on Eren's shoulder to keep him from walking away with the rest of the squad. They stood there in the clearing for a full minute, waiting for everybody else to get out of earshot before Levi said anything.

"Eren," he started, "we need to talk about something."

"What is it?" Eren asked cautiously.

"There's been a decision to execute you once we're done handling the titans."

Well, Levi was never one to beat around the bush, nor was he the best at comfort. It was apparent on Eren's face that Levi handled it in the worst way possible. He made sure not to spend too much time in silence before he further explained the situation; maybe the second part would cushion the blow a bit.

"However, you have the choice of staying alive. Erwin left it up to me, but since it's your life, I figured it was best for you to choose."

"What's the catch if I stay alive?"

"You'll be under my watch for the rest of your life."

Eren was speechless. Even though it wouldn't be so bad to be with Levi, seeing as how they had already spent so much time together, the overall concept was strange to think of. Would Eren be able to see the ocean with Armin and Mikasa? Would Eren ever be able to have a family? Would he ever be anything more than a monster to look after? Was he even worth the trouble?

In that moment of silence that Levi knew Eren was thinking, he thought about the story about the red string of fate, and wondered if it had any ounce of truth to it. If he was tied to Eren in that way. If Eren decided to stay alive, what would that mean for them? Perhaps more curiously, if Eren chose to die, what would that mean for Levi?

"You're asking me whether I'd stay alive with you or die?"

"When you phrase it like that, it's like you're blaming me."

"I-I'm not blaming you!"

"Listen, it's up to you. When have I ever forced you to make a choice?"

It was true. In battle or within the walls, it didn't matter. Levi always said that it was up to Eren to decide on what to do. It wasn't as if this was the first life-or-death choice he was faced with, though. Eren made several life-changing decisions in his life that had ended rather badly. They still haunted him sometimes.

"Did I..." Eren looked down and his brow furrowed, "...make the right choice in the forest?"

"...What?"

"Did I make the right choice when I let your Squad fight Annie?!" Eren asked again, with less hesitation and more anger in his voice. Not at Levi, or at them, but at himself. "I sent them to die, Captain. I let them fight without helping, and because of me they're-"

"Stop it, Eren."

"No! It's my fault they're dead! It's my fault you had to find your entire squad dead!"

"Shut up!"

"You told me not to regret any decision I made! But I regret it _everyday_ -!"

" **Eren, shut the fuck up!** "

Levi grasped Eren by the collar and pulled the boy closer to him, making Eren stumble a bit. His grip was like iron. "It's not your fault!" he yelled. Despite his best efforts, his voice couldn't stabilize, and his arms began to shake. "It's not anybody's fault but Annie's." With that, he let him go and immediately attempted to calm down. Still, there was a good chance that he'd be shaken up for the rest of the afternoon.

"I want you to worry about yourself from now on, Eren, not about the past. Shitty things happen. You lose your family. But that's no reason to lose yourself."

Eren could see now why Levi always tried to act so tough and not let his emotions show through. He saw how it made sense to his Captain to bottle everything deep. The world needed Levi; he was Humanity's Strongest. Erwin needed him, Eren needed him, and his entire squad needed him. Petra, Eld, Oluo and Gunter would have wanted him to stay strong for humanity's sake. The amount of pressure that was on Levi to stay strong was insane. Not to mention the emotions he didn't allow himself to feel could only make him feel worse in the end. Of course it was easier to be cold and seemingly cruel. That was as positive as it seemed like he could get, given his past.

"The world won't need me around after the titans are gone. If I'd be the only one left, what sense does it make to keep me alive?"

Taking the question seriously, he answered, "After all this, Yeager, you deserve a good life."

Eren let out a sigh and slumped his shoulders from where he stood. He was ashamed that he had brought up that part of their past, and now had the added stress about choosing what to do with his life. His true feelings were that he hadn't lived long enough to make that kind of judgement on himself. Maybe that was a sign that he hadn't lived long enough in general, that he needed to continue to grow and learn and become the person he had always wanted to be. Hell, maybe even after the titans were gone he could still be useful to the Survey Corps. They still had a whole world to explore, after all.

He thought about what his father would have said in that situation.

" _Geteiltes Leid ist halbes Leid_ ," he whispered to Levi, unable to gather his whole voice. Levi blinked a few times; he hadn't heard somebody use _that_ dialect since his days back in the Underground City. "It's something my father used to say," Eren explained, "when something was bothering me. As a kid, I never wanted to talk about the stuff that made me upset, but then he'd say that."

"What does it mean?"

"It means that by sharing a problem, it's half of what it was. To my father, and to me, it means that relying on others lifts off some of the weight we carry."

"Eren-"

"So help me, Captain," he interrupted before Levi could finish, "help me make this choice. For both of our sakes, don't let me handle this alone. It's your life too-"

"Eren!"

Both men turned to check the source of the voice. Mikasa jogged into the clearing and joined them without warning, leaving Eren unsure about Levi's thoughts. Part of him thought that Levi would stick around for him and help, but then again, the Captain wasn't very predictable. He gave a nervous look to Levi before looking back at Mikasa; he didn't want to tell her. He didn't want to know how she would take it.

"Are you coming soon? Everybody said that you should get back to the cabin immediately. It seems they may have some sort of surprise."

"Y-Yeah, I'm coming."

"I'll meet you over there in a minute," Mikasa said, dismissing Eren. Only her and the Captain remained in the field.

"Is something wrong?" she asked once Eren was gone.

"With what?"

"With Eren."

"Eren is well and healthy. We had to discuss how he'd be joining me during meetings from now on." He truly didn't have anything against Mikasa; her loyalty was admirable. Still, it wasn't his place to tell her. That was up to Eren.

"How often?"

"Once or twice a week. We would be gone most of the day. During those times, I want you to look after the squad."

"Yes, sir."

"I'll announce it after we get back and see what they're up to. I'm a sucker for surprises."

Jean was the first to react when Levi stepped through the door. He quickly hid something behind his back, as did Sasha and Connie. Everybody else was quite confused as to what exactly they were planning. Not even Armin had the chance to catch sight of what exactly they were doing, but he had an idea, and he wasn't sure he liked it.

"What's the matter with you, Kirstein?"

He responded with silence, not moving his hand from behind his back. Levi glared as he made the announcement.

"Eren will be going with me to the meetings with Historia from now on. On those days, Mikasa will be in charge of all of you."

No one protested, so Levi went back to focusing on the matter at hand: what the hell Jean was hiding behind his back. He continued to glare for a few seconds until he eventually grabbed Jean's arm and pulled it forward by force. In his hand was what looked like a bottle of alcohol. Jean, fearing punishment, pulled back from his Captain and placed the bottle on the table behind him.

"Sasha? Connie?" Levi looked at them expectantly. Both of them took out what they were holding behind their backs: bottles of wine and whiskey- in both hands. Five entire bottles of alcohol. Everybody was quiet until Levi sighed and broke the ice.

"If you brought two more, we wouldn't have to share."

Normally, it would have been against his common sense to drink at all, but since Levi had built up an unimaginable tolerance to alcohol, he had no doubt in his mind that if something bad happened, he'd be able to handle it. Eren, on the other hand, had extremely mixed feelings. He remembered Hannes and how drunk he was when his mother died. It hadn't been the reason she was gone, but those damn Garrison bastards couldn't keep their hands off the alcohol, and it had always pissed Eren off to no end. Seeing anybody inebriated always reminded him of his childhood.

"But unless you wanna sleep outside with the horse shit, Jean, you're going to tell me the next time you do this."

"Yes, sir."

"This won't become a habit, either," Levi warned. "I won't let a soldier lose all of his ability in a bottle. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Captain," everybody said in unison.

As everybody gathered glasses, Eren was still unsure about the entire thing. What if he was needed? What if there was an emergency?

"Just forget about everything for the rest of the night, Yeager. You can pretend you're not a scary monster and tomorrow you just pick right up where you left off," Jean offered, pouring Eren a glass with a little bit more alcohol than the others. Eren glared. Levi didn't comment.

"It's not exactly your smartest idea. Not like you have a lot of those anyway."

"Excuse me?!"

"You heard me!"

Everybody groaned. _Not again._

"I'm a lot smarter than you, Eren! I'm not a maniac with a death wish!"

"You're stupid enough to steal alcohol!"

"You stole this?" Levi turned his attention back to Jean.

"No! Eren's just a bullshitter!"

Two audible pops silenced them both. Mikasa had punched both Jean and Eren square in the jaw. Steam rose out from Eren's lips- he felt a tooth displaced in his mouth.

"It's getting tiring to hear you two yell," was all she said, taking a casual drink of the wine she was given. Even Levi was slightly impressed. "So please, let's get along tonight."

A couple of hours later, everybody was outside telling drunken stories. Eren and Armin hadn't been drinking as much as the others, but they were still feeling the effects; in contrast, it seemed like Mikasa and Levi weren't drunk at all, but Eren could swear that they had already split an entire bottle of whiskey. Levi thought that perhaps it was just an Ackerman thing.

"And that's the story of how I peed my pants in front of my neighbors daughter," Connie slurred. Sasha nearly fell over from how hard she was laughing.

"That's not as bad as the time I woke up next to Armin a few days ago," Jean laughed. Nobody else did. Oblivious to how much of a shock it was, he continued. "We were going over battle strategy and we fell asleep on the floor, but I woke up in his bed and left before he woke up. Sorry Armin," Jean continued to laugh, and surprisingly enough, Armin joined him.

"Watch yourself Jean, I'll kick your ass," Eren mumbled, feeling that he was much more drunk than he should have been. Levi had a word for that. _Lightweight._

"Just try it, titan boy, but don't cry when you lose."

" _Taten statt Worte_. Asshole." _  
_

Levi laughed. Not loudly or prominently; it was more like a muted chuckle, but those who were awake had heard it. Sasha and Armin were dozing off, and Connie was close. Mikasa stood and excused herself for the night, urging Eren not to stay up too much later, but he shooed her away. She gathered Armin in her arms before she left, not about to let her friend sleep outside.

"Jean, take Connie and Sasha to their rooms."

"Why me?"

"I'm not about to let you and Yeager be alone together, and definitely not when you're both drunk. I can barely leave you alone together sober."

Disgruntled, Jean took Connie and supported him with an arm. To anybody else, it would have looked like Connie had broken his legs, but he was simply too tired and drunk to move them. Jean half-walked, half-dragged Connie into the cabin. It took him a few minutes to come back and get Sasha.

"I'm passing out after this," he declared once he stepped outside again.

"Sleep in your own goddamn room this time, you pervert. If I catch you with Armin I'm gonna kill you," Eren tried to yell, but ended up slurring.

"Maybe I'll sneak in just to piss you off," Jean retorted. Levi had to hold Eren's arm so that he didn't stand up and attack. After letting Jean leave, it was just Eren and Levi outside, which Eren immediately saw as suspicious.

"Is this on purpose?"

"What?"

"You sent everybody inside except for me."

"In that case, go inside."

"I didn't mean I wanted to!"

"It's getting late anyway."

"But Levi-" Eren hiccuped and ignored how informal he was being, "we have to talk about things-"

"I know. But now isn't-"

"-cause we should get married."

Levi rolled his eyes and stood up. "Alright, time for bed."

"I'm serious!" Eren whined. "I think I'm in love with you, Captain."

"No, you're not. You're just a lightweight that bit off more than he could chew." Levi stood and helped Eren up off of the ground.

"But I-"

"No."

"It happens whenever I see you. And in the middle of the night, I hate knowing you're sad."

"You don't love me."

"Who said that? I'll kick their ass!"

"You need sleep. I'll tie you to the bed if you don't start cooperating." Levi picked up Eren roughly, leaving no room for the boy to argue.

Eren's face turned red. Levi sighed.

"I've been keeping it a secret."

"I'm sure you have."

"I have!"

Levi opened the door and walked inside, still carrying Eren. "I'll pretend I never heard it, then."

Eren was frustrated. There he was, spilling his heart out to the person he had feelings for, and the man wouldn't listen to reason. It was like nothing he said would get through to his head, and he stayed still quietly in Levi's arms for a few seconds before he decided to take action instead. After all, that was what he said to Jean earlier; _Taten statt Worte._ Actions speak louder than words. Right then, he tried to wiggle out of Levi's arms and steady himself on the ground. Levi saw it as an act of defiance. Had he made Eren angry?

As soon as Eren could stand steadily, his hands went to either side of Levi's face, and with lips full of intent, he kissed Levi as passionately as he could.

It was certainly something he hadn't expected to happen. But then again, letting an already-impulsive subordinate get drunk wasn't the best idea if Levi had wanted predictability.

Given that Eren was taller, he had to lean down a bit, but it didn't distract from the kiss at all. Even though it tasted like alcohol, Eren had to. He needed to. It should have shown in the way that his legs were trembling that his feelings had taken a great amount of courage to come clean about, even if the alcohol was 90 percent of the reason for his honesty. He kept his hands on Levi's face to keep from shaking. Levi himself began to lose his cool composure; he had been beating around the bush of his own feelings for quite a long time. It was as if he only needed to be pushed into accepting his feelings for Eren and accepting that his feelings were the reason it felt so weird to see Eren as a friend.

As soon as it ended, they looked at each other for a long time before deciding on what to do, or what to say. It was like a silent, mutual understanding that things weren't as normal between them as they previously thought. They paid no attention to their surroundings, and that included the cracked door that _somebody_ had been peering through, snooping. The two men stood in the threshold, completely oblivious.

"I can't make it any clearer, Captain." Suddenly, Eren felt very sober.

Levi just nodded, not even knowing what to say. Eren could say all of the stupid things he wanted to when he was drunk, but Levi had a strong gut feeling that a kiss along those lines wasn't an accident at all.

"Are you mad at me?"

 _Really?_ "Do I seem mad?"

"Well, no, but... I don't know. Maybe. It's hard to tell."

"I'm not mad, Eren."

"What are you then?"

"I don't know." _Shocked. Clueless. No longer in denial._

Eren felt defeated. He had done his best to explain his feelings, and he had tried his hardest to get a response from it, but he was given nothing. He didn't know what the hell Levi was thinking about it, but whatever it was, Eren would ask later. Brutal honesty had drained a lot from him, and now he was more exhausted than he thought he could be.

"I'm gonna go to bed."

 _That's a first._ "Eren."

"Yeah?"

There it was, that moment of truth. Had it been what Eren was hoping for? Had it been what Levi thought he had the courage to say? The man couldn't even tell what was about to come out of his mouth. For lack of a better word, it was making him nervous.

"...Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Captain." With that, Eren left for his room. _I'll tell him tomorrow_ , Levi thought to himself. _I have to._


	6. Cat Person

_[This will be the final chapter in this particular story. I never intended it to be long, so I hope that for the length it is, that people enjoyed it. And who knows, maybe I'll write a "bonus chapter" for this story at some point in the future, haha. Thank you so much to the reviewers and to the people subscribed to this story; it honestly became so much easier to write these chapters when I knew that people were waiting for them. Enjoy, and look out for my other stories coming up soon!]_

* * *

Levi slept even less than he usually did. The anxiety that came from such a big change of his life was getting the better of him. Even though many people thought he was an unpredictable person, the man was a fan of routine; what had happened the night before threw him off to the point where he was at a loss of how to handle the situation. As the sun rose up, he kept brainstorming, until the sound of footsteps out into the main room broke him out of his trance. Was it Eren? Was he ready to face him?

Cautiously and quietly, Levi left his room to try and see who was awake before they could see him, but the noise was much louder than he anticipated. _Damn door hinges!_ Eren turned around immediately and Levi saw the effects that the alcohol on the boy's face. His eyes were red, the bags under his eyes were much more pronounced, and it seemed like he was in some sort of pain.

"How's your first hangover?" Levi asked conversationally, trying not to talk too loud.

"What's a hangover?"

 _What a miserable-looking boy._ "What you're feeling. It happens when you drink too much."

"I was drinking last night?"

"Do you not remember?" Levi's voice naturally rose, for once breaking its monotone nature. Eren winced.

"No, I don't. I remember sitting outside and the next thing I know, I wake up."

Levi had been musing over his feelings for hours and Eren didn't even remember what happened? He was going to confess what he felt about the boy and Eren wouldn't have even known where it came from. Maybe the night before hadn't held a single ounce of truth. _I nearly made a fool out of myself,_ Levi thought, _How embarrassing would that have been?_

"Did I do anything bad?" Eren knew what it was like to be around drunk people: many of them were brutally honest. He was careful not to make any sort of indication that he had anything to hide, but the panic was there. Had he come clean?

"You nearly fought Jean a couple of times. All of you were pretty trashed."

Well, the Captain certainly had a way with words. Eren sighed in relief.

"I had to carry you to bed," Levi lied smoothly. Eren turned red.

"You did?"

"Yeah, you're heavier when you're drunk. They say too much alcohol can make you fat."

"...Are you messing with me, Captain?"

"No, alcohol actually makes you fat."

"I didn't mean- nevermind."

"Well, in any case, we need to get going soon. We're going to meet with Zackly and his board to talk about you. Just be sure to keep that decision to yourself. Erwin hasn't told anyone else about it yet."

"Yes, Captain."

* * *

Just like the meeting before, Erwin Smith kept glancing at Levi from across the table. It bred apprehension for the older man, and Eren as well- he noticed the silent exchange between the two rather quickly. He could only guess that it had to do with the decision to keep Eren alive, although there was a tinge of jealousy whenever Levi would meet Erwin's gaze. Neither of the two men had looked Eren's way for the entire meeting, as he noticed. Despite the fact that the entire meeting was about him, he suddenly felt very ignored.

After the meeting, Hange stopped Eren to talk about the following days and changes to the experiments. He noticed Levi leaving the room with Erwin.

"Have you made a decision?" Erwin asked.

"Not yet. I need more time."

"The results of yesterday's experiment showed that his worth ethic improved quite a bit. Did anything happen between the two of you?"

"No, nothing."

"Are you sure? Nothing at all?"

Levi didn't hesitate. "I'm sure."

Erwin sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. Levi knew that Erwin wasn't eager to have Eren put to death, but he always did what was best for the survey corps and what was ultimately best for humanity. If getting rid of Eren helped seal the safety of humanity, then so be it, in Erwin's mind. Levi, however, didn't have to agree with every decision his Commander wanted to make, especially when the decision was actually left up to Levi.

"I want to keep Eren alive," Levi admitted. "But if he decides that he wants to end his life, I won't stop him."

"You told him?"

"I had to."

"...I can't imagine Eren must like me much."

"He understands why it might be necessary."

"Good, then. The sooner you've made your decision, the sooner we can warn Zackly. I feel like we're so close to that basement..."

"I'll be going now, Commander. You don't think Historia would mind if Eren and I stopped by the library before we left, do you?"

"Not at all," Erin seemed surprised at the suggestion.

"We'll be back in a few days," Levi said as he went to reenter the room he left Eren and Hange in. An eavesdropping Eren jumped away from the door and tried to look natural. Hange had left Eren alone for long enough to let him hear the majority of the conversation.

"Hopefully with a decision."

"Yes, hopefully."

As soon as Levi walked back into the room, Eren turned away. With his back to Levi, he tried to fix his expression, but Levi already had the idea that Eren heard everything. Instead of commenting on it however, he passed it off.

"We're going to stop by the library before we leave. I want to find you books about that language you learned from your father. You only know certain phrases, right? If you want to, you could learn more than just that."

"I don't know-" Eren stuttered. He looked down, a bit ashamed at what he was about to say. "-how to read."

Without even blinking, Levi countered, "Then you can learn that too. It's not as hard as it seems."

"Should I really be concentrating on my training?"

"It's not that hard to read, Eren. When the Noble brats are taught, they're around five years old. Anybody can learn it."

Eren had no more room to argue as Levi grasped him by the arm and nearly dragged him down to the library.

They arrived back at the cabin right after the sun set. Eren hadn't wanted to stay in the city when Levi suggested it, even though they ended up having to ride horseback in the dark. Picking out the right books to learn what was once called "Deutsch" proved a harder task than Levi thought, but buried in a section of the library that only Squad Captains were allowed to access was several thousand pages worth of information about the language and the people who spoke it. Levi, to stay on the safe side, checked out every single one. What could he say? He had high hopes and high standards.

When they arrived, Levi was surprised to see that Jean hadn't found the two hidden bottles of alcohol from the night before. Deep down, he was glad he didn't have to deal with a group of hungover soldiers, but there was still that curiosity that got the better of him.

"What were you up to while we were gone?"

That was the wrong question to ask.

Apparently, Sasha and Connie spent a good amount of the day writing out their final will and testament because they thought they were going to die. In fact, when Levi and Eren arrived, they were still crying in their rooms. Armin tried to tell them they would be fine, but he spent a good amount of the day in the bathroom, puking. Mikasa ordered Jean to clean it up, but he ended up passing out in his room, complaining about how loud Connie and Sasha were crying. It seemed that Mikasa was the only one unaffected by the alcohol, but later that night she retired early, blaming it on how weak she felt.

"Why don't I feel as bad as they do?" Eren asked Levi when everybody else had gone to bed.

"Hangovers are different for everybody. Sitting around crying about it usually makes it worse, though." That had been a lie, but the last thing Levi wanted was another crybaby to have to listen to.

"But if my head still hurts?"

Levi sighed. The look in Eren's eyes was full of concern and uncertainty. "You'll be okay tomorrow."

With those words, Eren was reminded of the days he went home bruised and hurt from the bullies around Shiganshina. The first time it happened, he had been limping a bit, supported by Mikasa as he came through the door, only to be greeted by his dangerously worried mother. She made him sit down while she cleaned every cut and elevated his foot, and even though he was crying, she never once told him to hold in his emotions. She never once told him to man up and stop crying. She simply looked him in the eye, smiling ever-so-slightly, and told him he would be okay tomorrow. It would be the same thing every time he got into a fight. "You'll be okay tomorrow."

As he was lost in his memories, he didn't even notice that he had started crying. His mother, his home, and his childhood was gone. Even his tomorrow was doubtful nowadays.

Levi knew it wasn't the hangover that made him cry. He knew that for somebody as young as Eren, his entire life was his home and family. Even if Levi didn't grow up with one, if he ever lost the Survey Corps, he knew he'd be just as broken. God knew he had already lost a depressing amount of friends and teammates.

"Eren," Levi began, but didn't know how to continue. At that moment, Eren was made aware of the tears coming down his face. He feverishly wiped them away and attempted to hide them, but to no avail.

"I'm sorry, Captain," he whispered.

"What for?"

"I'm not as strong as you are."

It was at that point that the Captain realized that Eren hadn't been lying when he was drunk. He was being ridiculous, yes, but his feelings for him hadn't been the product of some drunken delusion. Eren really did look up to Levi, both metaphorically and literally; their faces were only inches apart at that point, and as Levi looked up at Eren, he couldn't help but place his hands on either side of Eren's face, pulling him down to meet him for a kiss. Eren didn't take long to reciprocate. All of the hurt and painful memories of losing their loved ones overcame them and kept them grasping for the other. In that moment, all they had was each other. All they could feel was the desperate need to keep each other safe, alive and closeby. Years of the need for comfort was infused in that kiss.

Eren wasn't crying anymore. He was focusing on how soft Levi's lips were, how cold his hands were from riding all the way back after dark because Eren had wanted to, and how satisfying it was to be able to have another human being so close to him. Adding in the admiration he had for his Captain, he couldn't have asked for anything better.

As Levi pulled away several long moments later, leaving his hands on Eren's flushed face, he took a long look at him before he could say anything.

"Stay alive, Eren. We need you here."

By "we," Levi meant himself, but he knew that the rest of the team wouldn't want Eren to die, even if his "purpose" was over.

"You'd never be able to get away from me. You'd be tied to me for the rest of your life."

"You don't remember, but you proposed to me last night."

"What?!"

"You confessed your feelings and told me that we should get married."

"You tell some bad jokes, Captain."

"I'm not joking. Believe me or not, it's up to you. But if you decide to stay under my care, we may as well be married. It's not like we'll be able to leave each other."

"At least pretend to be happy about it!"

"What makes you think I'm not happy? I'm jumping for joy."

"Very funny."

"What am I, a comedian?"

"No, just funny."

Levi shook his head and let Eren go. Although his intent was to calm Eren down, he managed to calm himself down as well.

Levi's usual manner of handling Eren after an embarrassing event would be to send him to bed, but knowing that they were both fully awake, he didn't bother this time. Deep down, he could admit to himself that he wanted to stay awake with him, even if it was late. So as to not wake anybody up, they moved their conversation to Levi's room, which was separated from the rest of the bedrooms. Needless to say, Eren hesitated at the doorway for a moment, eyeing a certain spot on Levi's bed. Levi pretended not to notice.

The Captain opened his bedroom window, letting in the moonlight. Him and Eren leaned out of the opening to stare up at the sky. They stood there, not saying a word, until they heard a soft noise come from outside. It wasn't a titan and it wasn't a wild animal; in fact, it sounded like a housecat.

The two males looked through the darkness but couldn't seem to pinpoint the source of the noise. Then it happened a second time, and a third, and a fourth final time until Levi guessed that the small animal had to be right under the window. Instead of continuing to search, Levi moved back from the window, and just as he thought would happen, the cat jumped onto the window where he previously stood.

It didn't seem afraid, nor did it seem particularly hungry. Still, it had to be there for a reason. As Levi tried to figure out why, Eren began to pet it, and the tiny animal started to purr.

"I wonder why it's not scared of me," Eren mused to Levi.

"Maybe it feels safe here. Most house cats that run away or get lost look for another home, because they know they're not supposed to be outside."

That was a surprising fact. "How do you know that?"

"...Cats are my favorite animals."

"Why, cause they clean themselves?" Levi gave him a glare.

" _No_. They're loyal, curious, and despite their size, are great hunters."

 _So they're like you_ , Eren almost said. Almost.

"Animals always know when they're in danger," Levi continued as Eren picked up the cat. It rubbed its face on his shoulder and purred even louder. "It goes to show you're not the dangerous monster Erwin thinks you are. I think it's in love with you."

The cat meowed and Eren laughed. He took a seat on the bed behind him without thinking that Levi would have a problem with the animal; it left Eren's arms and stood at the edge of the bed, eyeing Levi intently. Slowly, he took a seat next to Eren, and the cat purred happily. Eren scooted back further onto the bed to sit criss-cross, watching his Captain relax as it headbutted his hand. After a few moments, Eren fully laid on his back, and as if on a cue, the cat galloped on top of his chest. It curled up, and like it had no care in the world, fell right asleep.

"How long do you think it was out there?" Eren asked softly.

"Long enough to be unafraid of the area. It might even be feral."

"It seems nice enough. Can we keep it?"

Levi hesitated. There was a possibility that it wouldn't be safe if it followed them out to experiments, especially if Eren became unstable, but if they could figure out a way to keep it in the cabin...

"Maybe. But soon, we're going to be headed on the mission to reclaim Wall Maria. You're making good enough progress that it could be in a matter of days or weeks."

Eren looked down at the creature, so precious and small, and completely clueless to their situation. Cats could sense danger, but they didn't know about how the humans were fighting the titans. They didn't know that Eren was supposed to be the person who saved humanity. At that moment, Eren was warm, and that was simply enough.

"Promise me something, Yeager."

"Yeah?"

"Don't get kidnapped this time. Mikasa won't ever let me forget it."

"No promises. If I'm this coordinate... If I'm really what they need, I don't think my word will be enough to keep me safe."

"That's what I'm for."

Eren was stunned into silence. A kiss, a confession, and a promise was much more than he ever expected out of his superior. But, he could see that the toll was great on him to lose so many others, and he stretched out one hand to hold his. Levi didn't waste a second in taking it and lying down next to him. He wasn't used to sleeping on a bed, since he always slept in a chair, but he suddenly felt very tired.

"Next time we go into the city, I'll ask Historia if she would be willing to care for the cat while we're away."

"Really?!" The cat raised its head in alarm and Eren attempted to calm it, lightly petting it.

"It doesn't seem too skinny, so it can probably hunt on its own. It cleans itself. It shits where nobody would find it. I don't see why we can't keep it."

"Thank you, Captain!"

"...But only because I like cats. Dogs are out of the question."

Were they discussing their future together?

"What if I find a really cute one that cleans itself?"

"Then you're talking about a _cat_."

The two of them closed their eyes, not letting go of each other's hand. Eren may not have known everything there was to know about Levi, or vice versa, but the two of them had formed a bond that was hard to describe by most. It had even been hard to describe by them for a long time. However, in each other, they found a way to move on from their pasts and look forward to the future.

"We'll tell Erwin about the decision after the next meeting."

"We?"

"It involves the both of us, so yes."

"Are we... telling him about... _other things_?"

Levi opened his eyes and sighed.

"No. That's something we can figure out after we retake Wall Maria."

"So you're serious?"

"About what?"

"About me."

"If I wasn't, this conversation wouldn't be happening."

"I guess it's just hard to believe."

For once, Levi let himself smile. Eren's eyes were still closed, and his voice was sounding less and less awake as the conversation went on, but Levi hadn't been that happy in a while. He'd keep Eren safe from harm, even though the purpose of their time together was to keep others safe from Eren. Levi thought that Erwin was being ridiculous, but he wouldn't be speaking out against the decision anytime soon. It had brought them together; if left alone, they might have never been able to come so far. They were simply grateful for the fact that it was happening.

As Eren slipped closer and closer to sleep, Levi could have sworn he heard an _I love you_ , but was too tired to tell. The two quickly fell asleep next to each other for the first time- and certainly not the last.


End file.
